Once we decided to move forward with this IVF cycle I was taken in for a Hysteroscopy. This is a small procedure where your doctor takes a look inside your uterus to make sure you have no abrasions, cysts or anything else that could interrupt the cycle. Once they saw that it was clear we met with a nurse who gave us our schedule(posted above).
I started with a birth control pill that I took for 2 weeks so that way the doctor could control my period cycle so everything could line up with our Egg Retrieval. Once that was over I started daily injections and pills. I went in every other day for blood work and ultrasounds to make sure that my ovaries were producing multiple eggs and that my hormone levels were rising. And trust me they were rising. They don’t tell you that you will experience mood swings (big ones), hot flashes, insomnia and some skin irritations.
By the end of the 2 weeks my body was ready for the egg retrieval. Normally a woman’s body releases 1 egg per period cycle. The medication you take during this time makes you mass produce and release eggs so they can get as many as possible. At this point our doctors decided that it was best to do what they call and “fresh transfer”. This means that Stephen would go into surgery the same exact time that I would go in for my Egg Retrieval and they would immediately take the eggs and sperm into the lab to make the embryos. That was the plan anyway. Stephens surgery was called a TESE (testicular sperm extraction). This means they would go into the testicles and take large tissue samples and put them under a microscope to see if there were any mature sperm they could use.
The morning of both surgeries, Stephens step mom took him to his surgery and my mom took me to mine. We both went in at the same time and it would take a few hours until we knew any results on if they found any sperm from Stephen. So we both get home and are resting, well trying too because our anxiety is through the roof, when my doctor calls. I was not expecting what was coming because I’m honestly annoyingly positive. Stephen is the realist and I’m the optimist. I always believe that things will happen and get better. So I had convinced myself that this was it and that this WOULD work. Mind you we still had no diagnosis for Stephen at this point.
She told us that they got 24 mature eggs from me but unfortunately they found no sperm in the tissue samples they took from Stephen. She then told us that we could come in to discuss further options and that we should also make another appointment with Stephens doctor who preformed his surgery. Both of us lost it. And when I mean lost it, we didn’t speak for the rest of the day, all we did was cry. At this moment I had never been more thankful for my mom, sister and best friend. They listened to me cry all day long, seriously just sat on the phone with me while I cried. Stephen is more of a quiet mourner so he just sat in our media room for the rest of the day.
The next morning we just started googling. EVERYTHING. We found some articles that said maybe it could be his thyroid so we immediately made an appointment at his primary doctor to get him tested. We went in the next day and had him tested. We had a nurse practitioner come in and talk to us and ask us what was going on, so we told her everything we had been through and been told by Stephens urologist. I kid you not this lady looked at us and said “well have you thought about adoption?” We both said no it just isn’t something we want to look into right now. She then proceeded to say “I adopt dogs and I think it’s a great idea, it’s pretty much the same thing”. I think if I hadn’t been in such an emotional fog I would have punched her straight in her face. Not only is it not ok to push your opinions onto others, it’s NOT ok to compare adopting a baby to adopting a dog.
At this point his test results for his thyroid came back normal so we made a follow up appointment with his surgeon. He gave us his synopsis of what he thought was wrong with Stephen, but did not have a for sure diagnosis and told us that Stephen would never be able to father his own children, that there was nothing he could take, no surgery to fix this, nothing. We left feeling hopeless, sad and extremely pissed off that they would put us through an entire IVF cycle when they couldn’t give us a diagnosis or an answer on what was wrong.
For the next 6 months we didn’t really look into any other options. Here and there we would talk about our options and we decided that at this point in our life adoption wasn’t for us. Our marriage went through a big bump and it was just a lot for both of us to process. It wasn’t until I decided one day that I was going to just give this up to God and if this is his path for us then we needed to make the best of it. I have always prayed but this felt different. I felt a big push towards him and I finally started praying for our marriage and for a clear mind and how to cope with all this , instead of praying for a baby. If God wanted us to have a baby then he would lead us into the right direction. Once we both had a different mind set and decided to let things happen how they were meant to happen, everything became more clear and our marriage took a turn for the good.
One morning around May 2018, I woke up and saw that someone had posted something about their infertility journey and the doctors they had used. I told Stephen and he wasn’t 100% sure of it because of everything we had already gone through. We thought on it for a few days and ultimately decided that we would make an appointment just to get a second opinion. Little did we know that this appointment would change our entire life for the better and it was the best thing that has happened to us this far.
Next week I will go through this appointment and how these doctors completely change our lives!
Xoxo
Macey
Macey Buquoi 